Trip into myself...

For a long time I searched for a missing piece...
Or just a word that guide me in... 
I wanted to know what I've been hiding for such a long time...



During my life I've taken many decisions...   Some of them are good, others aren't... 

I decided to live...

I decided to grow...

I decided to lie...

I decided to cry...

I decided to hate...

I decided to think...

I decided many things...

                   But I won't regret for any of them... 

'Cause regrets take you nowhere... 

and lose you in an enormous emptiness

Those decissions built me...

but there were some parts of myself that I didn't wanted to explore...

there were parts that make me feel afraid of myself...

 there were parts I just simply hate...

Recently I'm feeling different...
a few days ago...
walking around with many things in mind I found something...
I found a little piece in my road... a piece I didn't think could be important...

But even so I keep it...

As time passed that little piece began to grow...

until it became enormous...

until it fitted into myself...

and became part of me...

And as that piece fitted something began to change...
my shadow was diferent...
                         my shadow had changed...
                                                    (maybe it hadn't) but for me there was something unusual...

But suddenly It grew... 
My shadow grew 
My own shadow was all around me... surrounding me.. and then it swallowed me...

Everything was dark...

At the begining I didn't understand...  many strange scenes and images were floating around me...

                             I didn't like them...

                     They weren't normal...

                    In fact...   I hate them...

They were getting nearer every time I looked at them... 

and suddenly...

I was wallowing into them... 

and that was horrible... 

that was disgusting...

But as that happened I began to notice that all of those horrible scenes and images were parts of myself...

Parts of my self I had forgotten... a long time ago...

I noticed I was surrounded...
I was surrounded by my own fears... my own feelings... my own secrets...

And then my shadow began to tighten me...
                                       began to soften my armor...
At the begining it was suffocating...
                                     I felt unprotected...
But as I assimilate the pain...
                                    It became into freedom...
 
And finally I feel it...
I didn't just see the changes...
I felt them...
Not only my shadow was different...
I was different...

I am different...

I am complete...

Because now I know it...

I know that piece I found a few time ago was the one I was looking for...

The one that fits perfectly...

The one that let me see into myself again...

The one that helps me confront my shadow...

The one I need...

 And you know 

you're that piece

I was looking for

                                                                                                                                                                                                               Jaqui